Will she ever be satisfied?

Does this sound like anyone you know?

Dear Eugene,
My boyfriend and I have been fighting over sex! It seems that my sex drive is a little stronger than his. I enjoy it several times a day- and well for him, only during half time of football games.
What should we do?

Signed
~ Will I Ever Be Satisfied?

Dear Will I Ever Be Satisfied, 

Is the “fighting” part is some sort of weird foreplay for you guys? if so, hey, the more power to ya! Just keep it fun. But really ..
I am sorry to say this, but NO ….. you will never be satisfied (at least not by him), unless you do it yourself.

Luckily for you there may be hope. It sounds like you need to subscribe to the NFL channel, or at least get a DVR so you can record several games and then use them during the week. You will probably have to “warm him up” during the first 2 quarters, then let him go to work during half time. Let him recharge during the 3rd and 4th quarters, then repeat the process. …

This is, of course, assuming that he has some other redeeming qualities that justify you keeping him around in the first place.

Let me know how it turns out.

Eugene

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